1- The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.
2- Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
3- CNN was originally created as the "Chuck Norris Network" to update Americans with on-the-spot ass kicking in real-time.
4- Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
5- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
6- Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
7- What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.
8- Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
9- Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
10- Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.
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